Media Consumption

Influenza or Influential?

Over the years I grew a great disdain for Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and the rest. Simply because it always felt as though I was performing. Almost as if I had this subconscious obligation to show up and present myself. Even though no one really cared what I had going on, even the times I was at my “lowest” in life, even though I knew fully well that there were people who were hoping I’d be going through some dark times. I still logged on every day like a 9-5 corporate job to perform for the masses. I always questioned why any of us get on these applications for personal use. I asked this because since 2018, it seemed as if social platforms were now for influencers, businesses, celebrity drama, local drama, entertainers and scams!!! Slowly became very noxious to me.

I was worshipping these platforms without even realizing it. Once I started taking my walk with Christ serious, I realized it was an idol for me and I had to give it up. 1 Corinthians 7:31 tells us “those who use things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.” Simply put, don’t get caught up in the world and what it has to offer because it is all temporary except our salvation. I also learned that I had to be mindful of this opinion and not to project it onto friends and family. While I disliked it so much, others used it as their escape, some found a way to not digest the toxic content and focus on the fun of it all. Others felt compelled to be active users so they can spread their truth or be a vessel that brings forth insightful thoughts and knowledge. I considered these things so I wouldn’t wrongly judge people who put content out there each and every day.

Then I learned something about myself, that I’ve always felt but never put into words really. One word. Internalize. Biology defines it as of a cell or organism; to take in or absorb. I was absorbing everything I came across. It affected my reasoning on certain subjects, the way I handled situations, my views on different types of people, my emotions, it even affected my “why” if I’m being transparent. This is a unique experience to me probably, but I did what I thought was best, which is to remove myself fifteen months ago.

I applaud and also envy people who can just be and do without ever being emotionally strained or mentally impacted by things meant for “fun”. There should be something said for people like me, people who simply cannot operate on the surface. I have no middle ground either so I’m either all in or all out. Do I miss posting pictures on Instagram? I absolutely do. Do I miss the freeness and fun of Twitter? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I always come back to, “who am I doing this for?” “Do I really want these people to know what I’m thinking or feeling right now?” “Do I really care to update these people on my day/weekend?” “Why am I posting this happy yacht picture like I didn’t just have a whole panic attack about my failing grade in Business Valuation that might cost me my degree?”. I heard this great quote once and I promised to live by it until my dying days.

“Find the WHERE, where your WHO is best. Because if you don’t, then you’ll never discover your WHY and you will always feel lost, empty and unsatisfied.”

I found my where, which is away from social media aka present in the real world and with the Lord. Living in the moments, with friends that I truly care about and that show up for me. Not media friends who only want to be around for a photo opportunity. With family who actually care about me, not the ones who only claim love in comments under a pic. I found my where, in my dreams and my goals. Not the dreams and aspirations of some trendy, aesthetically pleasing, pretty girl who doesn’t have my heart, mind or soul. Whether you believe me or not, consuming other people’s content daily, chips away at our true selves. We take on the lives of these people, slowly forgetting our own identity and no longer moving to our own rhythm. Cited Statistics

I sit back at times and remember how intricate the ‘posting process’ was back then. Quite cringe now when I think about it. Sitting for hours on end with friends picking the perfect picture out of 65 plus fast snaps, editing it (FACETUNE), coming up with the perfect caption, then planning the perfect time to post to get the right amount of traction. How bizarre for someone who wasn’t selling a good or service lol. I am ashamed to say I was even like this. A lot of us are/were like this. That’s the cause and effect with these picture focused media platforms, they skew our minds to always want to put out perfection which is unreal and damaging to self. Can I also add how it breeds ungratefulness? I rebuke it. My life is enough, and I have abundance in Jesus’ name.

I acknowledge my truth isn’t the next persons and I fully understand this might just be an Ashlee thing. Nevertheless, I do hope and pray that some of us can unlearn some things social media has embedded in our minds since Myspace and Tagged days. I pray, that ¹as a society we get back to being our true undiluted selves and break away from these implanted norms media has forced on us.

1. Tik Tok is my only active platform and even then, I have to take hiatuses because doom scrolling is real and my attention span is shot because of it.